Battle

White snow falls along the streets, mixing with the ashes of those fallen soldiers. Not even two days after the war with Larae, a faery who's magik became dark and soul became the devil's, our people were suppose to get ready for the next day, christmas. The castle stood tall, adorned with green christmas lights to symbolize our freedom and our holiday cheer. As i walked around the city though, i saw everything but those two things. Our kingdom feared our newest enemy because they had all grown to love her. They cried, walking through the streets and heading towards the cemetery, flowers in hand. Only a hand full of soldiers lost their life, but only because my husband brought back help. The angels never interfere with human issues, so he brought back his fallen angel companions. I passed a lady on the street who i had seen crying, but when she saw me her eyes filled with anger and she told me the battle was my fault. I looked with a straight face and said "Death is the beginning of a new life." and walked away.

Forgetting

Come let's gather 'round the fire. Pour gasoline into the inferno of our psychotic minds. Why not just add to the fire instead of trying to start our own? But what will you savages do when this fire you started hits home, when it kills the ones you love? Let's not ruin the mood though, shall we? For in this world of make believe there is no right or wrong, there is no consequences in your minds. There's only you, me, and the fire to which we've started. But looking out amongst the crowds, i see everyone but the Angel and the Dark Princess has left. The Princess holds her Prince's glove with a skull on it, the one she stole many years ago. The Angel holds a crown in her hands, the thing she held onto after the King made her fall. According to her, she never fell, but we all know she did. I hold a hard drive in my hand... The one thing that holds all my memories of the Dark Prince. We all walk towards the fire, ready to throw these items into the fire, to forget the memories to go along with them. I look to the others to see who will go first.The Dark Princess clutches the glove to her chest, tears falling from her eyes. Angel stares at her crown, knowing if she throws away that crown that we will know she really did fall, and we will not hesitate in spreading that fact. I look at the hard drive in my hand and throw it into the fire, turning my back on the scene behind me.

'Round and 'round and 'round we go, but where they stopped ill never know.

Wedding

Demons and lechers all gather around the palace, watching their world become bright again. They shake their heads as they watch their new (unwanted) queen, but they would never speak against their leader. She stood in white with hematite jewelery to expel any bad energy around her. Her angel stood in a black pinstriped suit with his beloved top hat, his wings drawn close to his back. The music played, they said their vows and the demons howled as they kissed to seal their matrimony.   That's when the party began. The queen changed into a slinky red jeweled dress that fell mid thigh, but her (now) husband stayed in his suit. Many of the demons rushed to congratulate her, such as the Angel of Innocence and the Dark Princess. Blossom held her tongue as they spoke to her because she knew they secretly wanted the Dark Prince back on the throne. She overheard their conversation about sneaking him into the palace and she intended on keeping a close eye on them. For now though, she would enjoy the company of the king and her now husband.

Drowning

Don't make me beg you to talk to me. I can't take another moment of this silence... My heart is aching for your voice. This isn't what I'm use to. I'm use to talking to you every day about anything we can think of and now what? Now I attempt to talk and all you do is turn a blind eye. You don't even know I'm talking about you because I could be talking about anyone I know really. No one really attempts to talk to me besides Alex, even though I reach out to you all. I feel alone in a crowded room again, I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of unwanted thoughts and past memories. My angel is the only one who cares enough about me, no one else does. So thank you, thank you for showing me what great friends I have. Friends that care, and friends that don't lie. And I hope you're not too ignorant to think I meant those last two sentences. Once again, thanks.

Pushed away feelings

Sometimes silence is the worst option. Talking can open doors, get you friends back, help you understand why people do things.Angel of Innocence, i understand your anger but it is not by my hand that you have been hurt. The King is the one you shall take your anger out on, not the one he is now talking to. My Fallen Angel is the one who has allowed me to speak to him, because he trusts me. Not even the Dark Princess, who hates him far more than you, does not show the anger you do. So maybe i did know it would make you mad. Why do you talk to me still? Maybe i knew you still held feelings for him. Why don't you tell him? Why come to me with those melancholy eyes when you're the one who stopped talking to him? Granted, he might have ignored you, but no one has time for your petty crap anymore. I know i don't. I know for a fact you will never read this because we don't talk much anymore and i wouldn't tell you i have a blog anyways, but if one day you stumble across this, just know that i don't feel bad at all. I deserve his friendship, you don't and neither does the Dark Princess. My angel trust me and loves me enough to know i would tell him of any wrong doings your ex would do towards me. Farewell Angel of Innocence, i guess we both win.

Deadly friends

What is the cause for your lack of sleep child? Is it because you finally realized you've bashed everyone you once trusted, because your thoughts are centered around your past, or is it because you feel yourself coming part at the seams? Do you crave that numbness that the prince and princess once coveted, that game of ghouls and goblins? That game of Russian roulette is dangerous, for if you play with demons you will never win. They will control the outcome of the game and trust me, they will not feel sorry when you are staring at your own blood. Do you miss the ones who you bashed? They probably will never see how much you cared for they Are too caught up in their own affairs to notice the blood dripping from every knife in your back. Angel of Innocence, Dark Princess, I hope you read this because its for you especially. How many times was I suppose to stand by while you took the knife from my back just to stab me again? How many times was I suppose to back up your lies with some made up truth from your heads? How many god damn times was I suppose to love you while you played me?! That's not friendship and its not what I want. All I wanted was friends and you can't even manage to do that right. Well I hope when the time comes, and you have to choose between yourselves and the girl crying with your knives in her hands, that you see her and realize I mean a little more than you think I do. And even if its too late, ill die with a smile on my face knowing you finally realized all I wanted was friends to lean on.

Im friends with the monster

I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed
Can I get away with saying my only uncorrupted friend is the monster under my bed? Although i guess a monster is corrupted, but better than demons right?? Surrounded by demons in these halls and yet in my castle of safety i am protected by my angel. My angel will not allow demons to enter this castle and i don't blame him. These demons can barely be called friends with the way they treat(ed) me. So monster, I guess you'll have to be my only friend.
Get along with the voices inside of my head
You're the only ones who talk to me anymore. Everyone else besides my angel ignores me or has nothing nice to say. You aren't necessarily friends but you're nice most of the time and make me calm. You help me when i'm at my breaking point.
You're trying to save me stop holding your breath
I'm not the one who needs saving. All of you who are my audience on this night are the ones who need help. Do you really want to read the ramblings of a story writer? I'll never be "saved" because when i blow up this story all of you demons will turn to ashes with it. This story world is a way to cope with you all who drive me to insanity, so when i turn 18 i won't look back at any of you. I'll drop you and become the one person i always wanted to be: The one who escaped from this monotone town. This city, this state. I will survive and i will move on. Don't be surprised when i don't remember your names next year. 
And you think i'm crazy
BUT THAT'S NOT FAIR!
I'm crazy??? Seriously, i'm not even close to crazy. If anything, i'm the sane one out of the batch of crazy kids of this city. I created you and i can end you all the same. That's not insanity, that's the truth. I have a vision that i'll be the normal one in this place but i never will. I will always be the one who would rather be alone then with others, listen to my music way too loud, and the one who doesn't give a damn about you if you hurt me. It only takes one mistake for you to be on my bad side so tred lightly, this is a minefield and your life is in your hands. 

Friends til the end?

Crashed on the floor when I moved in 
This little bungalow with some strange new friends
You all took me under your wing. Sweet as it was this wasn't what I expected. You didn't ask questions, you didn't judge, you simply put your arms around me and laugh.
Now we're spinning empty bottles its the five of us
With pretty eyed boys  girls die to trust
I still remember the first day we all hung out in the GSA room and we had so much fun. We didn't care what others thought, we simply were ourselves and talked. The pretty eyed boys were ours for the keeping, but after that first semester, they all disappeared.
Maybe I'm a little bit over my head
I come undone at the things he says
I didn't know how to keep things or say no to things. I didn't know what to give up or hold on to. Angel of Innocence, you didn't know when to let that Blue Eyed Demon go. Princess, we didn't know how to let go of the Prince. We held on and we paid our price.
And he's so funny in his bright red shirt
We were all in love and we all got hurt
That shirt... He only wore  one colored shirt and that was his senior shirt. That wasn't red, sure, but he wore it and i remember it. I remember what that demon bitch was wearing too.. That blue cover shirt to cover her tank top that made her boobs look larger than possible.
Maybe you were all faster than me
We gave each other up so easily
You all disbanded, leaving me to hold on to the shattered pieces of our fun. Honey, you all pushed me to what I am today. You gave me up just as easily as you throw away trash. None of you gave a second thought to it and you never will. You chose him over me every day and I found my Angel.
These silly little wounds will never mend
I feel so far from where I've been
Those wounds still sting when i think about it. I pushed my life into a tiny box and kept my mouth shut. Trust me, my life is nothing like it use to be. I have you all to thank, you demons and monsters. And if by chance any of you who I've mentioned are reading this, thank you because you made me a stronger person. And I stopped caring about people who didn't give a damn about me. And thank you DarkFrost, because without you I wouldn't know what love is.

Beauty

Line my eyes in the darkest black. Black as night, dark as your soul, making my skin pale as paper. Run the red along my lips and I'll promise not to ruin it. Don't drink, don't eat, guess it's time to be anorexic. Beauty comes with a price, a pound of flesh for a pound of beauty. And he looks, licks his lips, stares at me up and down as if he sees me for the first time. But the Prince didn't know i wasn't that girl. I shut up, sat straight, refused politely every morsel of food and drop of water. I may have felt like i was in the desert but it was worth the fame for a few moments. That fame... comes with a price. The price of feeling those hands along your legs, going farther than you wish. Those lips covering yours so you can no longer scream for help. Who would want help though? Beauty and fame is worth the price is it not? No... not to me.

Fast forward, seeing the same girl in a different mirror and light. Dark eyes, dark lips, a light that wasn't there before. No more fame, no more outer beauty to show off. Nothing to pull her out of the crowd and the angel smiles. His smile isn't like the Prince's, it's gentle, not animalistic. His hands guide you to the outside, taking you with him to soar among the stars. That's beauty. Not the heat of his gaze, not the rough touch, not the hunger scratching at your stomach. Beauty... just is. It is the way your heart beats and the way your flaws look. Flaws define you and no man is worth losing your skin to a pound of make up, or worth starving. Angel... You are my savior. You showed me this and saved me from my demons. I still have demons, we're just on the same side now.

Back From the Dead -Skylar Grey

I never thought that you and I would ever meet again
 A memory, a sick twisted memory of what we were. I walk into your clutches unknowingly, looking from my hands and seeing you're piercing eyes. How are you still in my life? Why must you follow me no matter where i go? I thought i had gotten out of your clutches but no, you insistently pop into my life. Haven't you done enough damage? That look... brings my heart to a halt as you stare at me, piercing my soul with that knowing gaze. That challenging gaze... As if to challenge if i truly belong to my angel. Well listen here demon, you never had me in the first place. 

I mourn the loss of you sometimes and pray for peace within
 The thought of you sickens me. I mourned losing you in the first place, but no not anymore sir. I hide my face from you, remembering everything that occurred between us and clutch my angel's hand. He doesn't know the extent of damage you've done to me, he just knows you scare me to death. You look at me and what am i to do but scream to run away in my head? That's all i can do because i was never strong enough to actually do anything.  

The word 'distraught' cannot describe how my heart has been
 Distraught... What a word to describe my heart when i see you. Yes, i become a mess when i see you, because i know i couldn't stop you from doing anything you want to me. I can scream, but you outweigh me in strength and smarts. I have my angel though, and he won't let you get near me. You'd never get far, because he's always there and you know it. You know better than to challenge him. 

But where do we begin now that you're back from the dead? 
 You were and are still dead to me. Try and try again you want to come back to this world, to rule as a king. You never even became a king in your life, so why would you in death? Guess what, no matter what you do you'll be a demon disguised as a prince, and no one can ever change that. Death becomes you or so they say. So embrace it, for you will always be that way. 

Ghosts

Follow me, you'll find your way. My ghosts never did find the light, they only faded, reappearing at the smallest weaken of my mind. They didn't want to go away, only find a way to torture me more. But only the King is a memory isn't he? He's the true ghost which follows me to my class, turning my head to think of us walking together until he tried to cross the line of friendship. You aren't a ghost though, are you Dark Prince?
You're the one still living, still tangible and able to kill me at any moment you want. My angel stands a mere few feet away and you have the audacity to flash that grin at me... That grin that says "come here" and sends shivers down a girl's back. These aren't those shivers though... These are the shivers of fear, of remembrance, and most of all, of hate. I hate you. You know it and yet you smile. Those hands that once tore out my beating heart are now dangling beside you, slowly rocking back and forth. You wear that grin so proudly, so why not face your fate?

SILENCE

I open my mouth, words dangling on my tongue. Words... but none come out. They lock themselves in my mind and scream at the one i look at, but nothing surfaces. Just an empty look of emotionless sorrow, as i lock myself away inside my head. It seems that little habit i picked up on those years ago with the Dark Prince has finally come back to haunt me. That thing i use to do... sit there with so many words to say but not wanting to piss anyone off... it's not gonna go away. I can't risk losing anyone so i WILL sit here in silence, i WILL lock myself away because i don't want to say what i think. I can't... Can't you understand i'm broken and shattered beyond repair? I can't be saved like i saved you. I'm one of those people who drowns in their own mind and can't find the way out. Please save me... Don't let me be silent because i'm either tearing myself down or screaming. Please Angel... break these chains that bind my lips, those chains that break my bones at night and leave me broken. Stop the memories, the things that haunt me that i see but aren't really there. You can't see the ghosts i do. Stop me from drowning... because this time i might not resurface. I love you. Please take me.... take me away and show me your love. Stop the princess, the prince, everyone in my mind! Don't let her touch me, or hug me, or attempt to hold me. Stand in their way, be my knight in shining armor. I don't want to watch you leave if i speak. Please.... Save me.

Never land

Memories laying along the ground. Picking up piece by piece, trying to remember what goes together and what needs to be burned. Trying to remember why I ever believed a word that came through any of you demons mouth. Those words of love... Of care. If you cared then where are you? Why aren't you here to see if I'm ok? I guess it doesn't even matter if I were to tell you. The world will tilt and everyone will be ok but me. 

Unholy war

I always wonder why you try to tear everyone apart. Why do you demons of heaven and hell destroy those who stand beside you? Is it just too hard to destroy each other, and therefore in the process you have to drag us into the middle Angel of Innocence, Dark Princess, take your fight away from us. This is not about hate, or anger, but this is about secrets. Those tiny things you so called "best friends" talk about and keep hidden from one another. Well I've kept secrets from you both, I have my own mask to hide behind when you are both around. Don't show too much emotion, don't step out of line or face destruction. I think those things every day and keep them as a constant reminder of how screwed up we are. The three of us have a strained friendship and whenever one tries to pull away, the other two are pulled closer together before all the lines tying us together break. Angel, Princess, you both are pulling these strings and i hold the scissors, prepared to break us apart for the sake of my sanity and life. I need not be with you two if you are going to kill me in the process of killing each other. Dark Frost, freeze time with your shadowy powers, cloaking me long enough to escape. Dears, i will return, but only after only of you is left. I can no longer stand by and watch this unholy war between an angel and demon. This time, i will not be the cause of this fight, and i will not be the one to fall.

Fire and Ice

Fire from the fingers and tongues of those around, setting everything on fire. Ice from my fingers, turning into electricity from the static clinging to me. No matter how hard I try, no matter how loud I scream, my body and mind will not comply. I scream to be freed from this hell in which I live. I no longer wish to be frozen inside, I welcome the feeling of the electricity around me. But as my will and powers grow, so do the ones of those around me. Those who walk by me stare at me with a ferocity I've never seen before. The Dark Princess, the Angel of Innocence, those who I trust without question, all turn against me. I scream, wanting to be noticed and not alone. But as my loneliness grows, so does my anger. I ache to draw blood, to once again sink my teeth into the skin of my enemy, to smell the smoke of battle. They can no longer say this is my fault, for I have tried to get close to them. I've tried to tame the Dark Princess, to help her see the light of her mistakes. I've tried to save the Angel of Innocence from her imminent demise, but she has turned a blind eye. The king does nothing to help them, only hinder their progress. But I no longer care about him, for he is a fading memory of a time I consider long gone. Fallen Angel, please save me from this darkness in which I am being killed by. Bring me out of this place we both know so well, because you know what it does to people like us. My mind is becoming a dark place where only the things that keep me alive roam. Why am I here? Why can't I just be alone with you? That would make my life go back to what it once was, what WE made. Dearest Fallen Angel, let me use your wings to go away from here, to once again feel the warm sun on my skin instead of this cold ice like grip around my neck. Please... just for tonight hold me and don't let me go until the sun rises. Then, and only then, will I feel whole again.

Paradise nightmare

Inside your mind, drowning inside yourself. Seeing that damned mirror that reflects not what you see, but the things you refuse to see. You see yourself, under the skin, whether you are an angel, a demon, or anything in between. Even you, my many friends, cannot deny the truth behind this mirror. You, princess, see a demon who's wings are barely attached, your glowing blue eyes a wonder behind that mask of yours. That mask you so carefully keep track of, not wanting anyone to take it away. So you wear the clothing and the jewelery of your past lovers, never wanting them to leave you but hating the pain behind the memories. And you, oh lovely Angel of Innocence, not even you can look away from the hideous sight of your decaying flesh, those satanic nails that you retract  when your king is near. That king, the one you all fell for and died trying to love. But you, Angel of Innocence, you have that seductive nature. You alone have that power to change from your 'beautiful' angel wings and halo, to the seductive witch you are. 
Dark Frost, you my love, are not like the other harlots and demons that surround me. You are kind, gentle, willing to give when no one else will. You love me as i love you. Others can try to 'take' me but they never get anywhere. I will marry you, i will be your bride, Blossom and Dark Frost. We will be wed, we will leave this god forsaken place, and try to forget. Some things will never be forgotten though and i'm sorry for that. I cannot forget those first friends who took me in, who kept me safe and cared for me. Even if they are monsters now, i will always try to save them. So farewell my dears, i will write to you again.

Dumb child

So you strike again you dark demon. You write about me, expecting me to not know its me you speak of. Why? Do you think I'm dumb? An idiot? A stupid child who's never been tricked? You've tricked me time and time again, giving way from one personality to another. Saying you're my best friend at one time and then the next moment acting as if I'm not here. So my angel will have to make me forget you now? I don't want to forget you but maybe he's right. Maybe you aren't the person i thought you were- the person i wanted you to be. But maybe I'm judging our situation to fast. I don't want to be a queen for a night. I want to see under the mask you've so cleverly created. But if i were to look would i see one face or two? Would i see the person i once had a crush on, or the demon you now portray? My angel is mine, and i am his. I am not claimed by anyone but the person who i KNOW will stand by me forever. The person i will marry and soar through the skies with. So do not drag me to hell with you, that's one place i will not venture again. Could we truly talk about your life, about what's going on in your head, the mask that you now wear? Can we please talk about ANYTHING besides crap that no one gives a damn about? If not I can't help you. I want to help you, to bring you to the light and out of the grasps of these devils you have controlling you. But if you can't let me in, if you can't be that Dark Princess that i once believed in, I can't do anything for you. I will retreat the arms of my angel and fly away until you once again need me. Because as it seems right now, you don't need me. You don't care about me... But my angel does. And i love him with all my heart. 

Dear princess

My dear, how did you get so low? How did you become this demon damned to live amongst the shadows? I know the Dark Prince tricked you as he did to the rest of us. Must that hinder your progress in life though? Those ugly scars engrained along your collarbone, your hips, and your heart, are all unseen to the naked eye. Only those who look close enough and remember his destruction would understand the hell you've been through. Do I look like you my dear? No, I have not let his poison slow my system and destroy me from the inside out. I've let go of the memories as best I can. I will help you if it will erase the thoughts of him. Dark Princess, stop allowing the ones you LOVED to become the ones who kill you. The magician, the prince, that green eyes hero you speak so fondly of, those are the ones who will murder you in your sleep just to show you they have control. Don't let them control you anymore or be damned to eternal hell. If you ever need my help, I am here. I am here with my angel, ready to help fight your demons.