Betrayal

Are you willing to lose everything for someone who doesn't want you? Are you really willing to go back to someone who screamed at you for being around family? I don't think you remember those times he would listen to your calls, tell you to get off the phone, or just hit the end button so whoever was on the other end would know what happened. The person on the other end would wonder if he hit you or if he was trying to kill you for the hundredth time. But you would say anything. You would sit in silence, playing the 'perfect' house wife for him because you wanted someone to hold your hand during a movie or have help around the house. I told you, we ALL told you that if you go down this path again, we won't be here when you're battered and bruised, begging for help once more. I don't want it to be this way, but for you to tell me to my face that he would be with you wherever you go and that you would welcome him back with open arms... You can't even fathom the anger and sadness I felt. So go ahead and choose him once again over us, but this time, you might not come out alive, and you won't come out with a family by your side.

The real you

I miss you. Not this person you are trying to be, the girl you really are. Even if your age has changed your mentality hasn't caught up yet. I miss the little girl who would stick to my hip and try to be like me. I miss the little girl who use to love the color pink and watch Hannah Montana with me. I miss the girl that grew up and stayed true to herself. I miss the girl who looked up to me. This girl, this "teen" you are trying to be, it isn't you. I see right through it. Honey I know you want to be popular. I know middle school is hard. I've been there done that, and yeah I get what you're trying to do. You hide behind the dark hair and make up, you want to go against what your dad says and be with your momma so she lets you run wild. Baby girl, let me tell you something. All that makeup you hide behind, all that talk you spit so much, all those words you use because you think it's cool, all of that isn't going to do a damn thing a few years from now when no ones around to cheer when you graduate. If you push everyone away its not going to make you cool, because one day, those people who think you are cool now will hate you and hurt you later in life. Maybe I wasn't the best example, dying my hair and wearing nothing but black. I know I didn't talk much to you when you needed me. If I could change that I would, because it hurts me to see you going down the same road as I almost did. Maybe in a few years  you'll appreciate these words, but for now, just know I'm here and I'll be a shoulder for you to cry on. R.I.P: the real you.

Princesses that were never saved

The names everyone always remembers are the villains. Evil queens are the deadliest, yet I pity them. They were princesses once, waiting to fall in love, getting hurt again and again until they finally wanted their revenge. The one closest to them, or the one who Wanted to be closest to them was their target, and anyone close to them. What were they suppose to do? Apologize? Grovel? Hope the queen would forgive them? No. They fought. And soon enough, the queen would be defeated. The scared little princess who thought she could be queen retreated to safety. That's all the persona was: a persona. A cover up for a scared little girl who wanted to act unbroken. The princess who was never saved. 

Us

I don't just love you. I need you. I crave you. I am desperate to see you whenever you are gone. Why write this? Why our this somewhere where everyone can see it and say its mushy and going to fail? Because I believe in this thing we've created. This forever kind of thing where we fight for each other every day instead of make the other wonder if we want each other still. I don't need to put this out for everyone to see but I need YOU to see that I'm here forever. Even if I don't write as much as I use to, and even if I don't talk as much as before, I still believe in this thing we've worked for. No matter how hard, or how hurtful, or how doubtful we are sometimes, no matter the battles we face, we WILL last. We will stand when the dust clears, holding our hands and heads high when people try to break us apart. Like Romeo and Juliet (no matter how cliche), like Moka and Tsukune (no matter how dangerous; vampire and human), we are forever. Always and forever. 

Press 'delete'

Writing and writing until your fingers are nothin but bone. Brittle, cracking bone. You read what you've written and shake your head, knowing NO ONE would want to read that. So you try again, and three drafts later you're stuck with an angry blog entry and people on your mind you should've forgotten about a long time ago. But still you work, and you try to make it sound like something decent that someone would want to read. In reality, no one cares what you're wrote but the few people who scan through your blog when they're bored. And maybe there are a few good friends or family member or a significant other that actually cares what you write but will never admit it or comment on it. It's only when you write the dark things that you don't mean but make a good story that people start to worry. You rip your hair out trying to force words that won't come. And that's when you realize, no one cares. That's when you press DELETE. 

Not enough

See these cuts along my arm? I was just trying to make sure I bleed still. Feel the coldness around my heart? I was trying to make that burning fire stop hurting me! Smell the decay along my body? I was only playing with death magic... See the frail, pale body before you? I was just trying to be 'beautiful'! Why can't I be beautiful like everyone else? Can't I be my own type of pretty?! Who says I have to conform to society and the people close to me telling me I'm too fat or I'm too quiet? Fallen Angel take me from this place. Build me a place among the heavens where you and I can stay. Don't let these words from the people I care for reach my ears anymore! Just take me away and love me like you do.

Alice

I'm sick of speaking to you through this computer screen. Who knows, maybe you've forgotten about me. You've got Smith and his girlfriend, who I could care less for. I wanted to go back to friends, those people who trust one another, those people who are there for each other. Guess I was too late to get that friendship back but you know Alice, you were too selfish. Too self involved. You didn't care about me... So why am I still trying to get through to you. You don't remember anything I do, and maybe that's better. Maybe... Maybe I'm just too tired of trying. You are obviously done too. Say the word and I'll give this 'friendship' up for good. Just let me be.