I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed
Can I get away with saying my only uncorrupted friend is the monster under my bed? Although i guess a monster is corrupted, but better than demons right?? Surrounded by demons in these halls and yet in my castle of safety i am protected by my angel. My angel will not allow demons to enter this castle and i don't blame him. These demons can barely be called friends with the way they treat(ed) me. So monster, I guess you'll have to be my only friend.
Get along with the voices inside of my head
You're the only ones who talk to me anymore. Everyone else besides my angel ignores me or has nothing nice to say. You aren't necessarily friends but you're nice most of the time and make me calm. You help me when i'm at my breaking point.
You're trying to save me stop holding your breath
I'm not the one who needs saving. All of you who are my audience on this night are the ones who need help. Do you really want to read the ramblings of a story writer? I'll never be "saved" because when i blow up this story all of you demons will turn to ashes with it. This story world is a way to cope with you all who drive me to insanity, so when i turn 18 i won't look back at any of you. I'll drop you and become the one person i always wanted to be: The one who escaped from this monotone town. This city, this state. I will survive and i will move on. Don't be surprised when i don't remember your names next year.
And you think i'm crazy
BUT THAT'S NOT FAIR!
I'm crazy??? Seriously, i'm not even close to crazy. If anything, i'm the sane one out of the batch of crazy kids of this city. I created you and i can end you all the same. That's not insanity, that's the truth. I have a vision that i'll be the normal one in this place but i never will. I will always be the one who would rather be alone then with others, listen to my music way too loud, and the one who doesn't give a damn about you if you hurt me. It only takes one mistake for you to be on my bad side so tred lightly, this is a minefield and your life is in your hands.
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Friday, October 25, 2013
Friends til the end?
Crashed on the floor when I moved in
This little bungalow with some strange new friends
You all took me under your wing. Sweet as it was this wasn't what I expected. You didn't ask questions, you didn't judge, you simply put your arms around me and laugh.
Now we're spinning empty bottles its the five of us
With pretty eyed boys girls die to trust
I still remember the first day we all hung out in the GSA room and we had so much fun. We didn't care what others thought, we simply were ourselves and talked. The pretty eyed boys were ours for the keeping, but after that first semester, they all disappeared.
Maybe I'm a little bit over my head
I come undone at the things he says
I didn't know how to keep things or say no to things. I didn't know what to give up or hold on to. Angel of Innocence, you didn't know when to let that Blue Eyed Demon go. Princess, we didn't know how to let go of the Prince. We held on and we paid our price.
And he's so funny in his bright red shirt
We were all in love and we all got hurt
That shirt... He only wore one colored shirt and that was his senior shirt. That wasn't red, sure, but he wore it and i remember it. I remember what that demon bitch was wearing too.. That blue cover shirt to cover her tank top that made her boobs look larger than possible.
Maybe you were all faster than me
We gave each other up so easily
You all disbanded, leaving me to hold on to the shattered pieces of our fun. Honey, you all pushed me to what I am today. You gave me up just as easily as you throw away trash. None of you gave a second thought to it and you never will. You chose him over me every day and I found my Angel.
These silly little wounds will never mend
I feel so far from where I've been
Those wounds still sting when i think about it. I pushed my life into a tiny box and kept my mouth shut. Trust me, my life is nothing like it use to be. I have you all to thank, you demons and monsters. And if by chance any of you who I've mentioned are reading this, thank you because you made me a stronger person. And I stopped caring about people who didn't give a damn about me. And thank you DarkFrost, because without you I wouldn't know what love is.
This little bungalow with some strange new friends
You all took me under your wing. Sweet as it was this wasn't what I expected. You didn't ask questions, you didn't judge, you simply put your arms around me and laugh.
Now we're spinning empty bottles its the five of us
With pretty eyed boys girls die to trust
I still remember the first day we all hung out in the GSA room and we had so much fun. We didn't care what others thought, we simply were ourselves and talked. The pretty eyed boys were ours for the keeping, but after that first semester, they all disappeared.
Maybe I'm a little bit over my head
I come undone at the things he says
I didn't know how to keep things or say no to things. I didn't know what to give up or hold on to. Angel of Innocence, you didn't know when to let that Blue Eyed Demon go. Princess, we didn't know how to let go of the Prince. We held on and we paid our price.
And he's so funny in his bright red shirt
We were all in love and we all got hurt
That shirt... He only wore one colored shirt and that was his senior shirt. That wasn't red, sure, but he wore it and i remember it. I remember what that demon bitch was wearing too.. That blue cover shirt to cover her tank top that made her boobs look larger than possible.
Maybe you were all faster than me
We gave each other up so easily
You all disbanded, leaving me to hold on to the shattered pieces of our fun. Honey, you all pushed me to what I am today. You gave me up just as easily as you throw away trash. None of you gave a second thought to it and you never will. You chose him over me every day and I found my Angel.
These silly little wounds will never mend
I feel so far from where I've been
Those wounds still sting when i think about it. I pushed my life into a tiny box and kept my mouth shut. Trust me, my life is nothing like it use to be. I have you all to thank, you demons and monsters. And if by chance any of you who I've mentioned are reading this, thank you because you made me a stronger person. And I stopped caring about people who didn't give a damn about me. And thank you DarkFrost, because without you I wouldn't know what love is.
Monday, October 14, 2013
Beauty
Line my eyes in the darkest black. Black as night, dark as your soul, making my skin pale as paper. Run the red along my lips and I'll promise not to ruin it. Don't drink, don't eat, guess it's time to be anorexic. Beauty comes with a price, a pound of flesh for a pound of beauty. And he looks, licks his lips, stares at me up and down as if he sees me for the first time. But the Prince didn't know i wasn't that girl. I shut up, sat straight, refused politely every morsel of food and drop of water. I may have felt like i was in the desert but it was worth the fame for a few moments. That fame... comes with a price. The price of feeling those hands along your legs, going farther than you wish. Those lips covering yours so you can no longer scream for help. Who would want help though? Beauty and fame is worth the price is it not? No... not to me.
Fast forward, seeing the same girl in a different mirror and light. Dark eyes, dark lips, a light that wasn't there before. No more fame, no more outer beauty to show off. Nothing to pull her out of the crowd and the angel smiles. His smile isn't like the Prince's, it's gentle, not animalistic. His hands guide you to the outside, taking you with him to soar among the stars. That's beauty. Not the heat of his gaze, not the rough touch, not the hunger scratching at your stomach. Beauty... just is. It is the way your heart beats and the way your flaws look. Flaws define you and no man is worth losing your skin to a pound of make up, or worth starving. Angel... You are my savior. You showed me this and saved me from my demons. I still have demons, we're just on the same side now.
Fast forward, seeing the same girl in a different mirror and light. Dark eyes, dark lips, a light that wasn't there before. No more fame, no more outer beauty to show off. Nothing to pull her out of the crowd and the angel smiles. His smile isn't like the Prince's, it's gentle, not animalistic. His hands guide you to the outside, taking you with him to soar among the stars. That's beauty. Not the heat of his gaze, not the rough touch, not the hunger scratching at your stomach. Beauty... just is. It is the way your heart beats and the way your flaws look. Flaws define you and no man is worth losing your skin to a pound of make up, or worth starving. Angel... You are my savior. You showed me this and saved me from my demons. I still have demons, we're just on the same side now.
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Back From the Dead -Skylar Grey
I never thought that you and I would ever meet again
A memory, a sick twisted memory of what we were. I walk into your clutches unknowingly, looking from my hands and seeing you're piercing eyes. How are you still in my life? Why must you follow me no matter where i go? I thought i had gotten out of your clutches but no, you insistently pop into my life. Haven't you done enough damage? That look... brings my heart to a halt as you stare at me, piercing my soul with that knowing gaze. That challenging gaze... As if to challenge if i truly belong to my angel. Well listen here demon, you never had me in the first place.
I mourn the loss of you sometimes and pray for peace within
The thought of you sickens me. I mourned losing you in the first place, but no not anymore sir. I hide my face from you, remembering everything that occurred between us and clutch my angel's hand. He doesn't know the extent of damage you've done to me, he just knows you scare me to death. You look at me and what am i to do but scream to run away in my head? That's all i can do because i was never strong enough to actually do anything.
The word 'distraught' cannot describe how my heart has been
Distraught... What a word to describe my heart when i see you. Yes, i become a mess when i see you, because i know i couldn't stop you from doing anything you want to me. I can scream, but you outweigh me in strength and smarts. I have my angel though, and he won't let you get near me. You'd never get far, because he's always there and you know it. You know better than to challenge him.
But where do we begin now that you're back from the dead?
You were and are still dead to me. Try and try again you want to come back to this world, to rule as a king. You never even became a king in your life, so why would you in death? Guess what, no matter what you do you'll be a demon disguised as a prince, and no one can ever change that. Death becomes you or so they say. So embrace it, for you will always be that way.
A memory, a sick twisted memory of what we were. I walk into your clutches unknowingly, looking from my hands and seeing you're piercing eyes. How are you still in my life? Why must you follow me no matter where i go? I thought i had gotten out of your clutches but no, you insistently pop into my life. Haven't you done enough damage? That look... brings my heart to a halt as you stare at me, piercing my soul with that knowing gaze. That challenging gaze... As if to challenge if i truly belong to my angel. Well listen here demon, you never had me in the first place.
I mourn the loss of you sometimes and pray for peace within
The thought of you sickens me. I mourned losing you in the first place, but no not anymore sir. I hide my face from you, remembering everything that occurred between us and clutch my angel's hand. He doesn't know the extent of damage you've done to me, he just knows you scare me to death. You look at me and what am i to do but scream to run away in my head? That's all i can do because i was never strong enough to actually do anything.
The word 'distraught' cannot describe how my heart has been
Distraught... What a word to describe my heart when i see you. Yes, i become a mess when i see you, because i know i couldn't stop you from doing anything you want to me. I can scream, but you outweigh me in strength and smarts. I have my angel though, and he won't let you get near me. You'd never get far, because he's always there and you know it. You know better than to challenge him.
But where do we begin now that you're back from the dead?
You were and are still dead to me. Try and try again you want to come back to this world, to rule as a king. You never even became a king in your life, so why would you in death? Guess what, no matter what you do you'll be a demon disguised as a prince, and no one can ever change that. Death becomes you or so they say. So embrace it, for you will always be that way.
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Ghosts
Follow me, you'll find your way. My ghosts never did find the light, they only faded, reappearing at the smallest weaken of my mind. They didn't want to go away, only find a way to torture me more. But only the King is a memory isn't he? He's the true ghost which follows me to my class, turning my head to think of us walking together until he tried to cross the line of friendship. You aren't a ghost though, are you Dark Prince?
You're the one still living, still tangible and able to kill me at any moment you want. My angel stands a mere few feet away and you have the audacity to flash that grin at me... That grin that says "come here" and sends shivers down a girl's back. These aren't those shivers though... These are the shivers of fear, of remembrance, and most of all, of hate. I hate you. You know it and yet you smile. Those hands that once tore out my beating heart are now dangling beside you, slowly rocking back and forth. You wear that grin so proudly, so why not face your fate?
You're the one still living, still tangible and able to kill me at any moment you want. My angel stands a mere few feet away and you have the audacity to flash that grin at me... That grin that says "come here" and sends shivers down a girl's back. These aren't those shivers though... These are the shivers of fear, of remembrance, and most of all, of hate. I hate you. You know it and yet you smile. Those hands that once tore out my beating heart are now dangling beside you, slowly rocking back and forth. You wear that grin so proudly, so why not face your fate?
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